A.D.D. generation

Ugh. Last night I decided to watch a rerun of The Simpsons on TV. It was one of those newer episodes. Ya know, the ones from the last few years where it’s all humor and absolutely zero substance. It was such a miserable experience that I decided I would go back and revisit the first season of the show to see how drastically things have changed.

About five minutes into “Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire” many nostalgic feelings rushed over me and I decided to transcribe them and share.

“Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire”

• I’m only five minutes into the first episode and I’ve already been transplanted back into my childhood.
• Cartoons of the 90’s were so much more balanced than most of what is out there today. This was a highly controversial show for its time yet it still contained heart and a sense of morals at its core. I feel like most everything today — especially Family Guy — solely aim for a controversial WOW factor instead of developing a plot.
• Moe has black hair.
• FACT: Homer doesn’t know the names of all the Reindeer and neither do I. D’Oh.
• When I look back on the 90’s I revisit the greatest memories of my life: SNES, N64, Nicktoons, the slacker mentality (that I still embrace), Surge, Green Day’s “Dookie”, quality MTV, Dazed and Confused, Beavis and Butt-Head, yadda yadda yadda…
• LEARNED: 99 x 13 = Merry Christmas.
• It took me until the final scene to realize that the episode seems strongly influenced by National Lampoon’s Vacation.

“Bart The Genius”

• I miss life before the technological takeover. I had a whole lot more time to live in my head back then.
• Martin is a douche.
• Like Bart Simpson, I am terrible at math.
• Martin is still a douche. At least Bart is getting him back by switching their tests.
• I’m having the most random craving for those Cheetos Cheesy Checkers from the 90’s. Those and Surge together were like cocaine to an elementary/middle schooler.
• I used to watch reruns of this show around dinner time when I was younger. Sometimes I’d watch Doug instead. It was a battle.
• I loved that Bart read comic books because I grew up on them thanks to my Uncle. I still read them now but they meant so much more to me during the developmental/explorative stages of my life.
• Homer definitely used to be smarter and more affectionate.
• I take that back.

“Homer’s Odyssey”

• I’m so happy that Konami finally released The Simpsons Arcade on XBLA and PSN. Definitely my favorite arcade experience of the 90’s.
• Remember when the thought of getting a kiss from a girl would disgust you?
• Smithers was once black. He pulled a Michael Jackson on us.
• This “Nuclear Energy” video reminds me of the video in Jurassic Park that explained how they resurrected the dinosaurs. What was that guys name? Mr. DNA?
• I want beer but can’t have yet. Waiting for Tylenol to leave system.
• Oh man! I want to go to a drive-in diner! Luckily there is one not too far from here. The food is terrible but the atmosphere is great.
• The old couple are awesome!
• This suicide by drowning scene reminded me of Vesper’s death in Casino Royale. That was a great movie. Definitely my favorite Bond film. Can’t wait for Skyfall.
• I know a crazy lady who actually drove my whole hometown nuts because she wouldn’t stop proposing stop signs around the city. She was one of my best friend’s moms and a total bitc…
• Was black Smithers also gay? Waiting for innuendo…
• I want to visit a real life replication of Springfield. That would be way more fun than Disneyland. Actually, I’d probably spend all of my time at Moe’s.

“There’s No Disgrace Like Home”

• Does anyone remember Media Play? I used to spend SO much time there. One time I went with my Uncle, his wife, and my sister and we picked up a couple collections of The Simpsons on VHS. That night we went back to his place and watched all the tapes. This is the episode that reminds me of that day. The one that definitely got the most laughs.
• I miss being young and fighting with my sister. I used to get her in so much trouble.
• As rough as this animation is, I still prefer it to 90% of the cartoons out there today.
• I no longer want kids. Never having sex again.
• I LOVE this episode.
• Using your kid’s grades as a tiebreaker to decide who you love most is the right thing to do.
• Marge is getting plastered and so am I. Mmmm Bud Light Lime.
• “Kiss you? But dad I’m your kid.” — Bart
• Homer looks like Waldo.
• Does anyone actually enjoy TV dinners? The only ones I ever enjoyed were those Kid Cuisine ones with the penguin on the box and I only cared for the desserts. Pretty sure I worked my way through poison to get to those treats.
• “The dad has a shirt on” Hahahahahahahahaha
• Moe’s hair is still black.
• If college only cost $88.50, I probably would have went. Who am I kidding? I would have just bought a video game instead.
• Why did the kids in that family leaving the therapist sound like Itchy?
• Damn. I’m officially drunk.
• I need a new TV. Still don’t have anything widescreen. It works for retro gaming but for any modern-day cinema viewing, it blows.
• It’s now storming so badly outside that I have to discontinue the marathon. Part 2 soon? Maybe.